Particular Scarf

Look at it. LOOK AT IT. Do you see it? Do you? Because I see it, and now I *can’t stop looking at it*. 

“It” being the drawstring. The poor, desperately straining drawstring. The drawstring that is currently sticking out it’s tongue at Sherlock’s shirt buttons going, “You guys got NUTHIN’ on me, suckers.” 

Guys… Guys. It’s barely holding his damn shorts closed. His shorts are gaping. Open. 

“Gained two suit sizes,” he says. “Eating like a foie gras goose and doing two hours at the gym,” he says. Indeed, sir. Indeed. As evidenced by the fact that the shorts that jauntily swung around your lanky hips when you kicked over a giant chess piece in Greece that one time are now a straining, imminent wardrobe malfunction. Not that I, you know, mind. 

I realize that what I’m doing here is gross objectification, but if it’s okay with y’all, I’m gonna head to my bunk for an in-brain recasting of certain iconic scenes from From Here To Eternity. ‘Night.